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  • kenziedegraaf

Where I’ve Been-New Mercies

I’m back! Over the past couple of months I took a step back from social media and blogging to really pray about whether this was still the direction God wanted me to go.  I was pretty sick the first trimester of this pregnancy, which happened to coincide at the same time.  And due to some surprising news we had with this pregnancy I just wasn’t sure I was ready to share more, or what I would share. (Hopefully more to share on that soon, and we are so so grateful!)

I was noticing how much time blogging was requiring of me, and having trouble balancing all of that and staying on top of my responsibilities at home.  Which, felt hypocritical as homemaking and being a wife and mom are the topics I share about from a Christ-based perspective.

How do I stay consistent with both social media and my home life?  What sort of balance and routines did I need to develop?

Do I share about products and companies I enjoy or that have blessed me and our family?  Will people get the wrong impression of me?

How do I continue to share our journey while I daily continue to give back my fears to God and seek to trust Him?  How do I share our joy and excitement in this season awaiting our baby girl and yet maintain a caring and sensitive heart to those who are hurting?

So many questions, and yet, so many of them were answered in this time.  Slowly, one by one, God kept laying the answers to these on my heart.  And while I don’t have the complete picture or details, I have a general idea of what this could look like and how to keep moving forward.  And that feeling of, “I’m supposed to be doing something and using my time better,” stayed.

In that tension of feeling like I was competing with my homemaking/wife/mama responsibilities, as I shared on social media, I found that if I didn’t structure my time and push myself to have goals and achievements I was waisting that time, and nothing productive or helpful to the kingdom was happening.  And I’d much rather stumble my way through, be obedient to God, and share about Him, what I’m learning, and what He’s doing in our life with others, than waste parts of my day with all the “leftover time” I was often finding.

Each season of life is different, and Lord willing, here in about 4 months, my days will look vastly different with a new born added into our family.  But there is room to adapt and grow. I’m taking this one step at a time, one season at a time and doing the best I can in that space.  And then when I enter a new season, looking to God for direction and wisdom to make the changes I need to be the best I can be for Him, for my family and others in that time and space.  Thank God for His grace, His patience and His mercies that are new every morning and perfectly fitting for what each day holds.

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,

“therefore I will hope in him.”

The LORD is good to those who wait for him,

to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly

for the salvation of the LORD.”

Lamentations 3:22-26 (ESV)

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