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  • kenziedegraaf

Fertility Journey Pt. 1

Updated: Oct 7, 2023

I have hesitated to share our story for a while, because being in the midst of our journey, still growing our family, the story is still unfolding and the ending not yet written. And at the same time, being in the midst of the journey feels like the perfect time to share, because often stories online are shared as "success stories," and often pitched with phrases like,"just try this and you'll get pregnant right away like me." And while I am so happy that those individuals found something that aided them in their journey, everyone's journey is different, and what God might use to help one person, doesn't always work the same way for another. So as I share, I want to be in a place of humility. Realizing and understanding that tools and supplements, and medical interventions, can all be such gifts, and all things we have been blessed by, but ultimately God is the one in control and to receive all the glory for growing our family. And yet, I believe that hearing other's stories has helped and encouraged me along the way, and if I can do the same for someone else I want to. So come along with us! Let's pray and learn together, and trust God through the journey. Where we are today. As I sit at my computer today, August 14th, 2023, we are currently not pregnant, have had two miscarriages losing three sweet babies (twins in 2019, and another baby in 2022), and we are blessed with one beautiful son, Thaddeus who has his 2nd birthday fast approaching. We've undergone testing, and continue to as we keep trying to have more children, with no answers as to why we've miscarried, or to why we're currently not getting pregnant. We continue to pray and trust God as we seek out other treatments and continue to work on improving our health and my PCOS. While the waiting is now sweeter with our Thaddeus Jude brightening our days, it is still long and there are still painful days as we continue to wait. We are so grateful for our friends and family who have been supportive and who pray for us. We have learned first hand what it means to have the body of Christ come alongside and care for you when you are down, and we have grown so much in both gratitude and empathy.

As we wait I am reminded by how many woman in scripture also waited on the Lord.

Sarah for Isaac

Rebekah for Jacob & Esauu

Leah for Issachar (yes she had "secondary infertility" in a way)

Rachel for Joseph

Hannah for Samuel (who went on to have 5 more children-no one shares that part of the story!)

Elizabeth for John

Behind each of these stories God was up to something. He was building His people, He was speaking to His children, and He was preparing for His own Son to enter the world.

So even in the waiting, I know that God is up to something. As I planned to post this this morning I knew I didn't have a strong closing, because if I'm honest I'm struggling right now. But as I flipped open my son's Bible to pick a story to read this morning I opened to Samuel, Hannah's story. The story I cling to the most out of all the infertility stories in scripture, and I was reminded that God sees me. And he sees you too dear one. If you are in the waiting, I pray that God blesses you today and that You don't give up praying. Hannah didn't give up and God was faithful. Ask Him to direct Your steps and guide your heart and prayers and He will.

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